Why now I am not with Krishna

q4prka3By Purushottam Nitai Das

Since the day I came to know about God, I was told that God is the giver of everything and so I should unhesitatingly ask him to fulfil all my desires. And from that day or rather from that moment onwards I have always treated God just like a shopping mall from where I can buy anything and everything. The only difference is that in a mall I need to pay but in front of God I do not need to pay. Yes it is true that sometimes like many others I have put some paper notes or coins in a hundi (donation box) in a temple. But here too the desire is less to share the wealth with the Lord but it is due to the hope that if I give something to God then in return he will fill my coffers with abundant wealth.

God always takes care of all our needs whether we ask for it or not. A baby does not have to run to the market to buy milk as soon as he is born but God makes sure that his mother has sufficient milk to feed her newly born baby. Air to breathe, water to drink and food to eat is supplied by him free of cost.

But is God just there to fulfil our needs?

Yes it is true that God, the creator, the maintainer, can fulfil all our desires. But we going in front of him always asking for something is not at all justifiable.

Imagine if a child comes to his father only when he need something and as soon as he gets what he wants he turns his face away from him. How would his father feel? Will he not be heartbroken?

How many times have we ever stood in front of God, our Supreme Father, and thought for a moment to do something for him without expecting anything in return? Have we made any endeavour in our life to serve God selflessly? How many times with a grateful heart we have thanked him for the wonderful things he has given to us without us asking for it? Imagine a life without the eyes. Our life would have become almost meaningless. But do we ever while admiring the beauty of this world thank the Lord for this priceless gift?

God wants nothing from us but love. In fact we have nothing worthy to give God but love. And love is always selfless. God loves us unconditionally and so he continues showering his mercy upon us irrespective of our relationship with him.

And a true lover of the Lord too loves the Lord unconditionally. The residents of Vrindavan epitomize highest form of selfless love.

In Vrindavan we never see anyone asking Krishna for anything. Rather in that beautiful land everyone endeavours hard to satiate Krishna’s desires and they are always ready to do anything and everything for their beloved Krishna.

Once sage Narada was curious to know that who is Krishna’s greatest devotee. Krishna asked Narada to go to his devotees and inform them that Krishna is having headache and to get cured from it he needs to apply the dust of the feet of his devotees. Narada left for the mission immediately. He met learned brahmanas who expertly recited Vedic hymns. When the erudite brahmanas came to know about Krishna’s headache they were moved and wanted to know how they can help. When Narada informed them that the medicine is the dust of their feet then they were totally taken aback. Politely but firmly they refused. “If the dust of our feet touches Krishna’s head then we will suffer forever in hell”, they argued and left the place. Narada went to many great personalities and saintly people but everywhere he got the same response. And then finally he went to the gopis. Upon hearing about Krishna’s headache gopis were very disturbed and as soon as they came to know the cure they started collecting dust from their feet. Many ran towards Yamuna to soak their feet in the water so that their feet can carry more dust. Narada was surprised, “Don’t you all know that if the dust of your feet touches Krishna’s head then you will suffer in hell.” The Gopis carelessly replied, “To give a moment of pleasure to Krishna we are ready to suffer in hell for eternity.” And they continued collecting more and more dust.

Reflecting on this pastime I feel so embarrassed because I have never ever endeavoured hard to please Krishna. My love for Krishna is so imperfect and so incomplete. I now understand why I am not with Krishna because my heart never longs for Krishna but it always craves for worldly pleasures.

With such a selfish heart will I ever get entry in the holy land of Vrindavan where Krishna enjoys colourful moments with his unpretentious lovers.

When will the day come when just like the brajvasis I will long to see just Krishna, will be eager to hear just about Krishna , will speak only about Krishna and will be ready to endure all pain to just serve Krishna.

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