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CONFUSION
IN VRINDAVAN
by Mahavegavati d.d.
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Submitted for the pleasure of the devotees:
The residents of Vrindavan have such an intense love for
Krsna that They are ALWAYS in extreme anxiety over this
Syamasundar complexioned beloved. Whether Krsna is present
amongst Them or He is separated from Them, there is no
end to their intense anxiety due to Their extreme attachment
for Krsna.
United with Krsna, they are worried that they will be separated
from Him. Separated from Krsna, they are in anxiety when
they will be reunited with Him again. When Krsna is playing
with His cowherd boyfriends and their vision of Him is
obstructed for only a few seconds by a tree, they feel
extreme anxiety thinking they may have lost their friend
Krsna, that something terrible may have happened to Him.
When the residents of Vrindavan are separated from Krsna
even for only a few hours, their life airs become so choked
up that they almost lose their life due to the extreme
anxiety of separation, their life kept intact only in their
expectation and waiting for when they will be able to be
united once again with their beloved Krsna. This holds
true of the people, animals;
even the plants, trees, creepers, stones and grass. In
extreme separation from Krsna, the stones of Vrindavan
will (literally) melt, and the trees will cry tears, manifested
in the form of sap running from the trees. (It should also
be noted that in the love of union with Krsna, these entities
will also melt and cry with ecstasy. To this day, in some
places, one can see the footprints of Krsna impressed in
the stones of
Vrindavan when twere melted in their ecstasy in seeing Krsna.)
Every day, before Krsna would leave with His friends for
His daily tending of the cows, Mother Yasoda would tie
different amulets and medicinal herbs on the body of Her
Son for His protection. She would call the elderly brahmin
ladies and gopis to come and give blessings to Her beloved
Son. These ladies would also tie mango leaves and place
pitchers of consecrated water in the doorways for the protection
of Krsna along with Their chanting of different prayers
for His protection.
Mother Yasoda in the depths of Her affection would kiss
again and again the cheeks of Her Son. She would brush
the hair from His face, and more deeply, kiss His cheeks.
With milk pouring from Her breasts, She could not part
from Her darling Son. She would go into the house and come
out with another sweet which She would put into Krsna's
mouth. Not satisfied that this was enough, She would again
kiss His cheeks and again go into the house to get some
fruits and more sweets to give to Her beloved Son. Then
came her loving, caring cautions: "Be careful my Darling;
don't go so deeply into the forests, and make sure you
stay near to Your Brother, Balaram. Do not stray far from
Him. Do not go near the thorny bushes; they will cause
you pain..." Mother Yasoda would then give caution
to Balaram, Sridam, Subal and the other friends to "MAKE
SURE" They "TAKE PROPER CARE of Krsna." In
such a mood of anxiety, this Beloved Mother of Krsna could
barely let Her Son leave Her side. Such was Her affection
and attachment that there can be no comparison.
Krsna gave His promises to follow Mother Yasoda's instructions,
and still She did not want to allow Him to leave, holding
him to Her breast, again kissing His cheeks, tears flowing
from Her eyes. Krsna would touch Her feet and insist that
She return home. Then, when Krsna would go off to tend
the cows, Mother Yasoda would, watch as Her son would leave
with His friends. When, from Her vantage point, She could
no longer see Krsna, She would go to a higher height, and
look to see Her son. Until He was completely out of Her
vision, She would stand watching, the milk dripping from
Her breasts in extreme love for Her Kanhaya.
Who can describe the emotions of the younger gopis? Feeling
utter helplessness, Their throats choked up with the intenseness
of separation from Krsna, some of them would sneak away
from Their homes and go to the forest, infatuated with
the beauty of Their beloved, but on the instruction of
Krsna, They would return to Their homes. (They were also
a little afraid that Mother Yasoda might come to know of
Their infatuation with Krsna.)
Nanda Maharaj, Himself, was no exception. He along with
the elderly cowherd men also experienced extreme anxiety
when Krsna would go off with His cowherd boyfriends to
tend to the cows. With tears running down His eyes, Nanda
Maharaj would smell the heads of Balaram and Krsna after
embracing Them. Krsna would
then implore His Father to return to His home, and Nanda
Maharaj along with the other elderly Gopas would then do
so, but not until They watched Krsna going off with His
cows and friends until He was out of sight and His flute
could no longer be heard.
All day long, the elderly and younger Gopis would sing
the glories of Nandanandana until He returned. In this
way, They maintained Their lives.
It was one day a grand chariot was seen at the house of
Nanda Baba and Yasoda Maiya. Akrura had arrived in the
evening, and by night the news had spread of why Akrura
had come. No one in Vrndavan could sleep, and some of the
residents of Vrindavan fainted due to extreme anxiety.
Mother Yasoda was so frightened of what Kamsa would do
to Her son, that She tried to conceal Krsna by covering
and hiding Him underneath so many peices of clothing. Weeping
and weeping ALL night, Mother Yasoda could only think of
Kamsa as a most wicked beast.
In the morning, Akrura came to console Nanda Maharaj, who
went to His beloved Queen and gave His full assurance to
Her for the safety of Her beloved Son. Yasoda Devi was
finally coaxed to bring Her Son forth from His shelter
of cloth. Pleading and even screaming out to Her Nanda
Maharaj, "I put my Son in YOUR care. He is my DARLING.
He is my life; no, MORE than my life. You keep my Son by
your side ALL of the time and do NOT leave Him with anybody
else, and you bring Him back from Mathura at the earliest.
ONLY under THIS condition will I give you permission to
take my Son with you to Mathura."
After this, Mother Yasoda her breasts soaked with the hot,
salt-laden tears, fell on the floor in a flood of tears,
speechless. The Vrindavan residents who were present there
remained stunned, tears flowing non-stop from their eyes.
The stones melted, the trees cried, and the waters dried
up. Every entity of Vrndavan was in complete devestation.
Mother Yasoda, revived, told her friends, "I have
sent my Son Krsna, with Akrura who is the son of a great
muni. I have made my ardent requests to my husband who
has assured me that He will keep My Son Krsna at His side
under His watchful eye, and He has given me His promise
to bring back my Son to me." The elderly gopis filled
with the utmost perturbation chided Mother Yasoda, "You
foolish, ignorant Yasoda. How could you be so merciless
that you will allow your Son Krsna to go to that wicked
Kamsa? Where is your sense? Are You THAT IGNORANT that
you have offered your Son to a messenger of that demon
king Kamsa? It is like giving your Son to a tiger. What
has happened to you? How could you give your Son to such
a person? How is that you have NOT KEPT your Son Krsna
with you?"
Cursing Akrura, the elderly gopis ran outside. There they
saw the younger Gopi sweethearts of Krsna, Nanda Maharaj,
the elderly Gopas, with Balaram, and Krsna seated in the
chariot with Akrura. Seeing the elderly Gopis in such a
condition, everyone became affected, including Krsna. Krsna
then saw the condition of His beloved sweetheart Gopis
Who were on the verge of death. Krsna left the chariot
to revive the younger Gopis, Who, so devestated by Akrura's
coming, became almost devoid of life, knowing that Their
beloved Krsna was to leave Vrndavan for Mathura. Krsna
took His beloved Gopis and They ran far from the chariot
to a secluded kunja with Them.
Akrura, seeing Krsna gone, became bewildered. Trying to
convince Balaram that He and Krsna must come to Mathura
to save the lives of Devaki and Vasudev, Balaram went with
His uncle (Akrura) to go find Krsna, Who was traced by
His footprints. Akrura (not being allowed by Balaram to
proceed further) called out to Krsna, convincing Him to
come, saying that Kamsa would put His parents, Devaki and
Vasudev, to the sword if He, Krsna, did not come with him
to Mathura. Hearing this, Krsna felt compelled to go back
to the chariot.
The (younger) Gopis in Their perturbation then spoke out
furiously to Akrura calling him "cunning" "liar" "mischievous
spy of Kamsa" asking HOW Akrura could say that Vasudev
and Devaki were the parents of Krsna when Nanda and Yasoda
were His parents. They called Akrura "cruel" (despite
his name, meaning "not cruel"), and accused him
of "killing the entire population of Vrndavan" by
his taking of Krsna. They finished, "You will have
to suffer the greatest of reactions for your committing
the greatest of sins. You are killing us."
Krsna out of love for His devotees felt that He must go
to Mathura to free Vasudeva and Devaki from Kamsa as well
as the other Yadavas. When the Gopis realized They were
going to lose Their beloved, They cried, "You are
our beloved, the life of our lives. Without You we are
lost. Our life will not remain in our bodies. At least
take us with you so that we will not die in separation..."
Krsna,
so affected by the Gopis' distress, Himself began to shed
tears, at the same time trying to wipe the tears from the
eyes of the Gopis. In a choked voice Krsna promised the
Gopis that He would return immediately to Them. He begged
the Gopis not to shed tears on His departure, explaining
that it was not an auspicious sign for Them to do so.
By this time almost all of the residents of Vrindavan had
come to where Krsna was engaged in speaking with the Gopis.
Akrura brought the chariot there, Balaram and Krsna getting
into it. Again the Gopis became most devestated, Their
bodies falling down to the earth, Their tears turning the
dust to mud. Mother Yasoda seeing this terrible scene,
Herself AGAIN succomed to devestation and fainted. Nanda
Maharaj, almost in the same condition, tried to compose
Himself to bring about sense to the situation. After reviving
Mother Yasoda, in anxiety He said to His beloved Queen, "Do
not think that I am made happy by this situation. Do not
think that I want Krsna to go to Mathura. Krsna is my Son,
and do you not think that I know that without Krsna in
Vrndavan none of you will be able to keep your lives? Please
be assured that after Devaki and Vasudev are released from
the tyranny of Kamsa I shall bring back my Syamasundar
Who is also your beautiful Syama as well." Nanda Maharaj
was so convincing in His assertions that Mother Yasoda
felt a little consoled. She in turn tried to console the
younger gopis, Who were all lying on the ground, senseless.
Having trust in the consoling words of Mother Yasoda, the
younger Gopis were a little comforted. Getting up from
the ground, They watched as the chariot started to pull
away, but again They became overwhelmed with the fire of
separation. With voices choked up, tears streaming from
Their eyes, They RAN after the chariot again appealing
to Krsna, "Krsna, COME BACK. DO NOT LEAVE US. YOU
ARE OUR LIFE AND SOUL..." |
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In no time They reached that chariot,
some of Them grabbing on to the reins, some the back, some
the side, others the wheels. Other Gopis threw Their
bodies on the ground right in front of the chariot thinking that Akrura would
not be that cruel to run over Their bodies, and thus, by this, they thought
the chariot would be stopped. Some of the Gopis could not even reach the
chariot as they had already fallen senseless on the ground while running,
overcome with the devestating effects from the thought of separation from
Krsna.
The cows and deer shed tears; the birds fell from flight; the waters dried up;
and the trees, plants and creepers withered.
Seeing such devestation, especially that of the Gopis, Krsna wanted to again
leap down from the chariot. He Himself was experiencing intense desparation,
crying; wetting the ground with His tears. Akrura afraid that Krsna would again
jump from the chariot, held Him by His cloth, Krsna now almost losing consciousness.
Obtaining the permission of Lord Balaram and Nanda Maharaj, Akrura sped off in
the chariot, expertly driving, somehow bypassing the uncountable Holy bodies
of the Gopis strewn in the road. Akrura drove so fast that by the time the Gopis
could regain Their consciousness, the chariot was gone. To relate the plight
of the Gopis is NOT possible. Even the stones hearing such a situation would
lament and melt to hear of Their distress.
Although we may be so far from the goal, it is not unavailable to us. By the
mercy of the Supreme Lord, Sri Krsna, and His beloved devotees, this gift of
Radha-Krsna Prema can be bestowed upon us if we so truly desire it and obtain
Their mercy.
I remain your fallen servant,
Mahavegavati Dasi
Hare Krsna |
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